Im at strip club and am horny
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
