I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
