she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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