I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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