worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
