Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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