In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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