Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
the night ended with taco bell and tears
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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