He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
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The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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