i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
