i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
