"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
