She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
