i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
