I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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