why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
