there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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