hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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