Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
