Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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