he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
