He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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