before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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