I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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