I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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