i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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