My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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