I think my fart just growled at me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
