You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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