i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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