From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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