Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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