We got so high we made milksteak
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize