i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
