My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
