it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
