i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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