you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
where are my eyebrows?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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