So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
