You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize