Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
