Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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