Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
