Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
