So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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