So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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