considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
