My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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