apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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