i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she woke up with a sticky ear
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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