But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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