Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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