She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
