He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
