I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
