I wish my penis had an off switch
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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