try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I wear drunk well.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
