Already got asked if we're dating
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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