Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
