Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize