i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
