That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
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It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
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