I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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